So, what is it for you? What will make you happy? When you get that raise? When you finally finish the project you are working on? Maybe it’s when you get that promotion or retire? Or when you finally get moved into the new house? Maybe it will be when you lose the weight, or stop smoking, or stop drinking, or get married. Or maybe you’re waiting for the economy to improve, or for your candidate to be elected into office?
The trap here is that the goal post of happiness is always moving. Once you get what you wanted in the first place, most of us tend to reset the “If I had this thing, I’d be happy” thinking – and then your happiness will be once again be a distant point, off in the future.
This is important to figure out because there’s a lot of anger in our country today. What is it for you? Maybe you’re angry at white people because of slavery. Or at rich people because they just get richer and need to share more of their wealth. Or maybe it’s the bad teachers, who aren’t providing our children with a quality education? Maybe you’re angry with those who don’t get it, and continue to fly the Confederate battle flag, or you’re angry with those who disagree with the Supreme Court ruling that same-sex couples can marry nationwide. Perhaps you hate America so much that you burn our flag, in hopes that it may one day be replaced by the banner of Islam.
Whatever it is that has us angry, more than likely, even when the source of that anger diminishes, most folks will still be unhappy and looking for someone, or something new, to blame. Maybe next you will blame your wife, or your pastor, your kids, or your co-worker. Maybe it will be the next President, or a past President. After all, when things go wrong in life, it’s natural for us to blame, because then we don’t have to accept responsibility for what we did, or didn’t do.
We come by this quite naturally, though. Remember in the Garden of Eden?
God: “Adam, did you eat the fruit?”
Adam: “Eve gave it to me.”
God: “OK. Eve, did you eat the fruit?”
The problem is that none of us can improve any situation unless we accept responsibility for ourselves, and otherwise reject the philosophy that someone else, or something else, is to blame for our circumstances in life – whether it happened last week, or from when you were a child, or even 150 years ago.
You see, there is greatness within all of us, but when we resort to blame, and refuse to take life on, and accept responsibility for our circumstances, we hand over the power – the control of our very destiny – to others, as if other “people” or the government will fix everything for us, like a genie in a bottle.
Here’s the bottom line, though: Happiness is an inside job. Only you can make you happy, and furthermore, it’s no one’s job to make you happy. Not other people. Not the federal government, or the Supreme Court. Not your kids. Not the rich. Not your spouse. Your life is intended to be lived fully…because there is greatness already within you.
The sooner we let go of our excuses, and more of us take responsibility for our own pursuit of happiness, the sooner we will have the power to change our lives, and our nation, for the better. It’s much easier to come up with excuses, of why we are where we are in our lives. It’s easy to complain about our situation or our circumstances, or to give up on our dreams, and become angry or depressed, or live in the past. Anyone can do that.
But, if it is true, as Abraham Lincoln said, “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be,” then the question today is, “What will it be for you?” How happy will you make your mind up to be?